What is your responsibility? Most of the time the only things in your control and your responsibility are your feelings and your actions. What would be the best and most appropriate way to feel and act in this situation? Write down some options. You could forgive her and let it go since it is her problem. You could have a validating conversation with her. What else? Then, cross out the fear-motivated options and choose a love-motivated option that feels right to you.
Choosing loving feelings towards someone who is behaving badly can be difficult, but you can do it. It helps if you see this person as the same as you, not worse than you. Remember that you are not perfect either.
You are also a scared, struggling, divine, amazing student in the classroom of life, just like her. Seeing her as the same as you, will help you feel compassion and love.
You must be very careful not to let her fear trigger your fear. Remember your value is infinite and absolute, and what this person thinks of you is irrelevant. You are the same you no matter what. This is what I would do. Decide to love her through this. Sincerely validate and edify her every chance you get. Be kind, loving and respectful.
This will completely throw her off because she is hoping you will behave badly back so she will have more proof of how bad you are. Sometimes treating people as if they are better than they are currently behaving pushes them in that direction. If you see them as a kind person, who treats people with respect and you even tell her what a good person she is, she might want to live up to your high opinion of her. You might encourage her to change herself. She is the president of Claritypoint Life Coaching and a sought-after life coach and popular speaker who specializes in repairing self-esteem.
KSL homepage. News Coronavirus. Southern Utah. Sports Utah Jazz. BYU Cougars. Utah Utes. Pac Hotline. Utah State Aggies. Weber State Wildcats. Real Salt Lake. High School. Brandview Brad DeBry Law. Minky Couture. Salt Lake Chamber. He starts with studies performed in species closely related to humans—baboons, monkeys, and chimpanzees.
He shows that brain evolution is related to our social needs and that, across primate species, the size of the average social group is strongly linked to the size of the brain.
Findings like these help us understand the particular importance of our social connections and why we value our social status so much.
But Sapolsky is less interested in explaining why humans are aware of social status than in demonstrating the nefarious ways that we are manipulated into maintaining our status.
For example, we tend to support some social hierarchies and rebel against others, in part due to the neurobiology of disgust, which is ruled by our sense of smell and a brain area called the insular cortex.
Things that disgust us tend to invoke fear, and make us inclined to reach out for our loved ones, property, and way of life, and to hold on to them tightly, even violently. We have evolved to support our immediate social groups, a tendency that can be easily manipulated into discriminatory behavior, especially at younger ages. Throughout the book, he offers suggestions for how we might subvert social tendencies to conform and aim our behavior towards better social ends.
And this is true even if that nefariousness can be positively hijacked, to unleash the best of our angels. Yet Sapolsky provides some hope about how to steer ourselves toward better behavior.
Distrust essentialism. Keep in mind that what seems like rationality is often just rationalization, playing catch-up with subterranean forces that we never suspect. Focus on the larger, shared goals. Practice perspective taking. Individuate, individuate, individuate. The culture of the Olympics sets an expectation of the highest order of civility.
There is no reward for rudeness and incivility. So, what can companies learn from the Olympics? All employees should be encouraged to speak out when they see disrespectful behavior. He has extensive experience developing innovative approaches to fostering healthy, respectful and productive work environments.
Learning Center. Why Do People Behave Badly? Bob Kagey. Our Team. How We Work. Our Difference.
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